The baby that broke me

Bare with me this is my first blog, and its about me.

I was a young mum at the age of 21 young yrs and I didn't know anything about raising a child, I had no idea about awake windows or how long a baby should sleep for, but I was privileged to a great sleeper a good eater and a generally happy baby.

Then 4 yrs later number 2 came along,  same again all round great baby,  this ones a girl a lot more cuddly and affectionate completely different to the boy who was rough and tumble trucks and cars.

Its a joy being a mum to these two  adventurous kids, but the time came when  I had to return back to work, and went back  working as a Nurse and shift worked for many years after. With the kids being passed here there and everywhere, there was no routine or sleep schedules.

Over the years I started to do more study thinking that Nursing was going to be my career choice until I retired. I was passionate about  Nursing about caring for people it was such a rewarding job and I loved it.

Then one day my husband thought lets have a baby so along came number 3 a little boy and again he was such a good sleeper, but this time around I was going to be a stay at home mum full time, so I noticed that my new born would sleep at similar times during the day there seemed to be a schedule that was built in.

And then came number 4 omg what a whirl wind, she came into this world fast and furious, and has been the same for the next 3.5 yrs she didn't sleep during the night she napped  well during the day but we went months with no sleep during the night  I was exhausted my older kids were exhausted they would hear her screaming during the middle of the night, and hubby wore ear phones as he had  to rise early to go to work. Our little family was barely functioning.

I think I did everything wrong with her, I didn't know any different, I fed her to sleep at bed time, I fed constantly during the night,  this was the only way I thought  to get her to sleep. At one point I tried what I thought was controlled crying and she screamed for hours and I cried sitting on the floor next to her cot. After 4 babies you'd think I would know most things, well she changed all that and proved that I really didn't know anything at all about sleep.

I googled everything and nothing seemed to work with her, our house was a raw emotional  mess from lack of sleep.

I came to the conclusion that if something didn't change our family was going to suffer my marriage would fail, I was not functioning well, I wasn't enjoying my last child, she was cranky and grumpy all the time she was not a pleasure to be around at all.  I contemplated going back to work as I thought I need to get away from her, and have some time out, she was clingy and had separation issues I couldn't walk out of a room without her following me.

So I contemplated Nursing again and didn't like the idea of working shift work I wanted something that would suit my little family, was flexible I wanted to be around for the 2 little ones but I also needed adult stimulation.

After many conversations at my local play group I realised that most mums were having the same issues, every week I would hear the same story of “i am so tired”,  “ he just doesn't  sleep” “ I don't know what to do”. And the penny dropped, I knew in my heart that I could help, I have a Nursing back ground, I love kids and this sparked a fire inside me.

I studied and finally became a Certified Infant and Baby Sleep Specialist, and I love the choice I made, I love meeting new mums and hearing their story, I love meeting all these little characters, but most of all I love giving the mums assistance and advice to get back that sleep that they  all need. I feel like im their personal cheer squad cause sometime thats all a new mum needs is someone to believe in them, give them the support they need.

I can say that my youngest daughter now sleeps through the night and is so much nicer and is a pleasure to be around, she tells me every morning “mummy I slept all night in bed” and I can at least respond with “ and im so proud of you”.

If you think  my story is similar to yours Id love to hear from you, and help you get the sleep you need.